You say yes.
You offer help.
You keep the peace.
You soften your voice so they feel comfortable.
You call it kindness.
But sometimes, it’s something else.
Something quieter.
Something heavier.
There’s a thin line.
Kindness comes from fullness.
People-pleasing comes from fear.
Kindness says:
I want to offer this freely.
People-pleasing says:
If I don’t, I might lose love.
Kindness gives without keeping score.
People-pleasing gives so it doesn’t get left behind.
Kindness honors you and the other person.
People-pleasing slowly erases you in the name of harmony.
You smile when you’re tired.
You say it’s fine when it’s not.
You take on one more thing
because you don’t want to disappoint.
But under the politeness,
you feel a quiet resentment…
and a growing distance from yourself.
Here’s the truth:
Kindness is a gift.
People-pleasing is a transaction.
One nourishes connection.
The other protects your place in it.
Ask yourself:
- Am I doing this because I want to — or because I’m afraid not to?
- Do I feel warm afterward — or drained and invisible?
- If I said no… would I still feel worthy?
This is the Cushy way.
Kindness without collapse.
Care with boundaries.
Love that doesn’t cost your voice.
You don’t have to earn your place by disappearing.
You can give from fullness — not fear.
