When everything becomes your fault — even things that never were.
It goes wrong.
They pull away.
The plan shifts.
The energy changes.
And before anyone says anything —
you’ve already taken the hit.
You assume you caused it.
You replay what you said.
You question how you showed up.
Because if you’re the problem…
at least there’s something you can fix.
Self-blame can feel like control.
Like responsibility.
Like maturity.
But underneath?
It’s fear.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of losing love.
Fear of being too much — or not enough.
So instead of facing the messy truth that some things aren’t about you,
you become the emotional sponge.
You absorb what isn’t yours.
And you wear guilt like armor —
thinking it protects your relationships,
when really it’s just dissolving your self-worth.
Ask yourself:
- Am I really responsible here — or just afraid to set the truth down?
- What would it feel like to say, “This isn’t mine to carry”?
- When did I learn that being wrong meant I was unlovable?
This is the Cushy way.
Accountability without self-erasure.
Ownership without overreach.
Compassion that includes you.
You don’t have to carry what isn’t yours.
You’re allowed to be human — without being the villain.
