When connection comes at the cost of someone else’s name.
You lean in.
They say something.
You add your piece — just enough to feel involved.
You laugh, you nod, you “can’t believe it.”
And maybe it feels harmless.
Maybe it even feels bonding.
But deep down, you know —
the connection isn’t built on truth.
It’s built on someone else’s absence.
Gossip is a shortcut to closeness.
It gives you something to share,
somewhere to belong,
a moment to feel aligned —
even if the glue is judgment.
But here’s the cost:
You erode trust.
You dim your integrity.
And worst of all — you teach yourself that being liked means someone else has to be less.
You don’t have to be cruel.
You don’t have to lie.
You don’t even have to say much.
But gossip isn’t always loud —
sometimes it’s just the silence of not stopping it.
Ask yourself:
- Would I say this if they were here?
- Why do I feel closer to someone after breaking someone else down?
- What would connection look like if it didn’t rely on someone else’s flaws?
This is the Cushy way.
Connection without casualty.
Truth that doesn’t sting.
Integrity that includes your absence from harmful rooms.
You don’t have to shrink others to be heard.
You don’t have to share shade to feel seen.
