When certainty becomes your coping mechanism.
You like things in order.
You plan.
You prep.
You manage every detail.
On the surface, it looks like responsibility.
But inside… it’s fear.
Fear of chaos.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear that if you loosen your grip — everything might fall apart, including you.
Control becomes the cage you decorate as “discipline.”
The leadership badge you wear to hide your anxiety.
You don’t trust ease —
because if you’re not steering, how can you be safe?
But here’s the cost:
Nothing flows.
You tighten every system, every schedule, every interaction
until life stops surprising you —
and slowly… stops reaching you.
Ask yourself:
- Am I leading — or micromanaging?
- Is this clarity — or fear of change?
- Who would I be if I let go, just a little?
This is the Cushy way.
Structure with softness.
Surrender with self-trust.
Control that protects — not suffocates.
You can still care deeply.
But you don’t have to grip everything so tightly to be okay.