You care deeply.
You feel their mood in your chest.
You make space.
You check in.
You stay up late, trying to help them feel okay.
And somewhere along the way,
you stop noticing how not okay you’ve become.
Caring says:
I’m here with you.
Codependence says:
I’ll carry this for you.
Caring is generous.
Codependence is self-erasing.
Caring is rooted in love.
Codependence is rooted in fear —
fear of being left,
of being useless,
of being unneeded if you stop fixing.
There’s a thin line.
And it usually gets crossed in silence —
not in dramatic acts,
but in small, daily self-abandonments.
You stop asking what you feel.
You stop tending to your own needs.
You define your worth by how okay they are.
Here’s the truth:
You can care deeply —
without dissolving into someone else’s storm.
You can love —
and still say no.
You can hold space —
and still have boundaries.
Ask yourself:
- Am I offering care — or sacrificing myself to feel valuable?
- Am I helping — or keeping them from helping themselves?
- Is this love — or fear of not being loved back?
This is the Cushy way.
Compassion with a spine.
Empathy that doesn’t erase identity.
Love that stays soft — without disappearing.
You can show up fully
without falling apart for someone else’s healing.
