It starts with care.
A desire to protect, to guide, to help.
You think you’re loving them.
And you are.
But love has a shadow.
And sometimes it looks like control.
You check in often.
You offer advice without being asked.
You worry… out loud.
You shape your words to steer their choices.
You call it support.
They feel it as pressure.
There’s a thin line.
Love says: I see you.
Control says: I see who you should be.
Love gives room.
Control gives rules.
Love sits beside.
Control stands above — even when it means well.
It happens to all of us.
We love someone so much,
we start to fear for them.
And fear makes us grasp.
Fear makes us grip.
But love, real love,
is not about managing someone’s path.
It’s about holding space —
not holding reins.
Ask yourself:
- Am I listening more than I’m correcting?
- Am I loving who they are — or who I need them to become?
- Am I guiding — or guarding?
Because control often wears the costume of care.
And it can smother the very growth you’re trying to nurture.
This is the Cushy way.
Love without possession.
Support without steering.
Trust without tension.
The people we love don’t need us to shape them.
They need us to see them —
and let them unfold.
