I recently got back into compound lifting after a good friend encouraged me to give it another shot. Being in my 40s, I had once believed that my heavy lifting days were behind me. But after gaining a new perspective and understanding its long-term benefits, I found myself back under the bar, determined to reclaim what I thought I had lost.
Yet, despite my renewed commitment, self-doubt lingered—old injuries from my younger years still haunted me. Some fear is healthy; it’s your brain’s way of protecting you from reckless decisions. But if left unchecked, it becomes a barrier to progress. And I knew that pushing through it would bring immense rewards.
The Mental Battle Begins
One Sunday, my usual coach and training partner couldn’t make it to the gym. It was also the day I was scheduled to increase weight—a test of both strength and confidence.
I wasn’t lifting alone, though. My mind was there with me.
As I loaded the bar for squats, a familiar voice in my head started whispering doubts:
- “This next set is heavier. The last one felt good—you don’t have to push today.”
- “Your usual partner isn’t here. Can you really trust a stranger to spot you?”
- “You’ve been injured before. What if lifting heavier puts you back in that position?”
On and on, these thoughts tried to convince me to cut my workout short.
Challenging the Doubts
But instead of letting those thoughts control me, I challenged them:
- My form is solid.
- The weight is manageable.
- My previous set felt great.
I reminded myself that fear isn’t reality—it’s just uncertainty. And the only way to conquer uncertainty is to face it head-on.
The way you speak to yourself has a profound impact on your confidence, motivation, and overall well-being. Negative self-talk can hold you back, keeping you stuck in doubt and fear. However, when you shift your inner dialogue to a more supportive and encouraging tone, you create space for growth, resilience, and success. Here’s how to overcome defeating self-talk and the powerful benefits it brings to your wellness and personal development.
1. Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts
Why It Matters
Self-defeating thoughts often stem from past experiences, fear, or comparison. Recognizing them allows you to take back control.
How to Do It
Write down negative thoughts when they arise and question their validity. Ask yourself, Is this thought based on fact, or is it just my perception? Reframe it into a more balanced perspective.
The Positive Impact
By challenging unhelpful thoughts, you develop a more rational and empowering mindset, reducing stress and increasing emotional resilience.
2. Replace “I Can’t” with “I Can Learn”
Why It Matters
Fixed thinking keeps you stuck, while a growth mindset allows you to evolve.
How to Do It
Whenever you catch yourself saying, I can’t do this, shift it to I can learn how to do this. View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than roadblocks.
The Positive Impact
Embracing a growth mindset enhances problem-solving skills, resilience, and self-confidence, leading to continuous personal development.
3. Speak to Yourself Like a Friend
Why It Matters
You wouldn’t harshly criticize a loved one when they’re struggling, so why do it to yourself?
How to Do It
When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself, Would I say this to a friend? If not, replace it with a kinder, more supportive message.
The Positive Impact
This shift reduces self-criticism, fosters self-compassion, and improves emotional well-being, helping you navigate setbacks with grace.
4. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Why It Matters
Perfectionism fuels self-doubt and leads to unnecessary stress. A focus on progress allows you to appreciate growth rather than flaws.
How to Do It
Acknowledge small wins and improvements, even if they seem insignificant. Replace I’m not good enough with I’m getting better every day.
The Positive Impact
Celebrating progress builds momentum, boosts motivation, and fosters long-term personal and professional growth.
5. Limit Exposure to Negative Influences
Why It Matters
Your environment—people, social media, and the content you consume—shapes your mindset. Negative influences can reinforce self-doubt.
How to Do It
Surround yourself with positive, growth-oriented individuals. Curate your social media feed to include inspiring and supportive content.
The Positive Impact
A positive environment reinforces self-belief, encourages a healthy mindset, and promotes overall emotional wellness.
6. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Why It Matters
Being present helps you recognize when negative self-talk arises and allows you to shift focus toward what’s going well.
How to Do It
Incorporate daily gratitude practices by listing three things you appreciate about yourself or your life. Use mindfulness techniques to observe negative thoughts without attaching to them.
The Positive Impact
This practice reduces anxiety, increases self-awareness, and cultivates a more optimistic and balanced outlook on life.
7. Take Action Despite Fear
Why It Matters
Negative self-talk often thrives on inaction. The more you hesitate, the stronger self-doubt becomes. Taking action disrupts that cycle.
How to Do It
When fear tells you to stop, take one small step forward anyway. Focus on what you can do now, rather than the entire journey ahead.
The Positive Impact
Pushing past self-doubt builds confidence, reinforces resilience, and allows you to grow beyond your perceived limitations.
The Breakthrough
I moved forward. I did the lift.
With focus and confidence, I reached a new personal milestone. My form held strong, a fellow lifter spotted me without issue, and most importantly…
It felt good.
I walked away not just physically stronger but mentally stronger. That day, the real weight I lifted wasn’t just on the bar—it was the mental barrier that had tried to hold me back.
