Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes you doubt your own perceptions, memories, or sanity. Recognizing these behaviors is crucial for protecting your mental and emotional well-being. Here are seven common examples of gaslighting and how to spot them.
1. Denying Things They Said or Did
What It Looks Like
The gaslighter insists they never said or did something, even if you remember it clearly. This tactic makes you question your memory and perception of reality.
Example
If you confront them about a hurtful comment they made, they might say, “I never said that—you’re imagining things.” Over time, you may start to doubt your memory.
2. Minimizing Your Feelings
What It Looks Like
The gaslighter belittles or dismisses your feelings, making you feel like you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.
Example
When you express frustration about something they did, they might respond, “You’re being too sensitive; it’s not that big of a deal.” This invalidation can make you doubt the validity of your emotions.
3. Shifting Blame
What It Looks Like
Gaslighters often turn the blame on you, making it seem like everything is your fault. This can leave you feeling guilty or responsible for things you didn’t do.
Example
If you point out a mistake they made, they might say, “If you weren’t so difficult, I wouldn’t have acted that way.” This tactic diverts attention away from their actions and makes you feel at fault.
4. Saying “You’re Imagining Things”
What It Looks Like
The gaslighter tries to make you question your senses by insisting you’re imagining things, even if you’re certain of what you saw or heard.
Example
If you hear them talking badly about you and confront them, they might say, “You’re imagining things. I would never say that.” This tactic creates doubt about your perception.
5. Withholding Information or Giving Contradictory Information
What It Looks Like
A gaslighter might withhold details or provide contradictory information, leaving you confused or second-guessing yourself.
Example
They might tell you one story about an event, only to later change the details when you bring it up again, saying, “I never said that; you’re making things up.” This inconsistency can create self-doubt.
6. Discrediting Your Memory
What It Looks Like
The gaslighter tells you that you have a poor memory or often get things wrong, making you question your ability to recall events accurately.
Example
When you bring up a conversation from the past, they might say, “You never remember things correctly.” Over time, you may start doubting your memory and relying on their version of events.
7. Twisting Facts to Suit Their Narrative
What It Looks Like
A gaslighter may twist facts or manipulate events to make you look like the one at fault. This keeps you off-balance and dependent on their version of reality.
Example
If you confront them about being late, they might say, “You didn’t tell me the time, so how could I have known?” even if you clearly communicated it. This tactic shifts the blame and leaves you questioning yourself.
In Conclusion
Gaslighting is a subtle but harmful form of manipulation that can make you question your reality, memory, and emotions. Recognizing these examples can help you identify gaslighting behaviors and take steps to protect your mental well-being. Trusting your own perceptions and setting boundaries are key to standing up against gaslighting.
